Signed,
Mucho Milwaukee.

1. Listen to Polka.
It makes you merry! We recommend online radio station WRJQ. It’s based out of Appleton so you can count on a lot of the Wisconsin-type of polka (i.e. songs about beer, girls, being in jail). We’ve listened to all the online polka radio stations and this one is the best. If you’re too embarrassed to play polka in front of other people, just put on headphones and tell your co-workers that you’re listening to a replay of Congress reading the entire Constitution.

2. Download The Dope Sheet at Packers.com.
Yes, we are keeping the cornball Wisconsin theme intact with this second item but- let’s face it- you’re probably a cornball Wisconsinite who won’t be able to sleep Saturday night. So, it’s best to spend that time reading about the Packers, who they’re made up of, what they’ve done, where they’ve been. You will be the smartest fan come this Sunday. Promise. If you can muster the strength to print out all 96(!) pages of the document, you can be nice and share the info with one of your cornball Wisconsinite friends.

The Dope Sheet (direct PDF link)

Go Packers!

Let's hope Michael Vick gets sacked often on Sunday. (Image from Packers.com)

Well, when you put together every crafty sister-in-law in the world, you’ll find that the amount of items available and Etsy is rather larger and diverse. In an effort to sort through the crap, we entered the search keyword “Milwaukee” and identified some of our favorite goods from the bunch. Pick up one of these as a holiday gift for the Milwaukee lover in your life!

What better way to start a journey of Milwaukee than to view the skyline of the city? Sure, this is a view you don’t get unless you’re out on the water and we question the accuracy of the balloon’s mechanics, but this water color-ish postcard the sort of whimsical find that is so typical of Etsy, and for $3.99, your wallet won’t even realize there’s any cash missing.
Milwaukee Balloon Print

Here we have a map from a purported 1897 atlas. You can see the torn-out edge on the left side.

We’d think that tearing pages out of an old atlas would actually decrease the value of the entire thing but if they can fetch $25 per page, then maybe it’s worth it to the seller. By the way, can any history buffs spot any differences between Wisconsin then and now? The only one we notice is that Chippewa and Rusk counties were combined back in 1897.
Wisconsin map from 1897

This purse came up in the search as a “Milwaukee clutch.” What’s so Milwaukee about it? We have no idea as the seller provides no explanation. Maybe it came from a Lost and Found bin at Summerfest.
Milwaukee Clutch.

OK, these Milwaukee Bucks fingernail decals are ugly as sin and will probably fall off if you just look at them but at $2.25, that’s only 22.5 cents per finger! And don’t you want to see Andrew Bogut use these on game day?

Milwaukee Bucks Nail Decals

Time to level with you folks…we think we know what’s hip but is there some Milwaukee underground shit that we’re not aware of? Like…some subculture of people who dress as rabbits and commit murders? Because, upon finding this “Milwaukee” t-shirt we felt like the lamest L7 in khaki pants planning a trip to Branson.

What the shit is going on here? Can we buy and wear this shirt or will doing so get us involved in some culture war that we best leave alone? The fact that the seller is based in Hong Kong makes us think we’re safe but some doubts remain.
Milwaukee Rabbit Hunters t-shirt

This photo of saucy flappers hanging out in 1920s Milwaukee may get you a little worked up but calm down! One of these gals may be your grandma.
Flapper photo

Speaking of photos of long-dead folks who may be your relatives, check out these beer-swilling dudes having a good time in 1941.

At $5.00 for the picture, you’ll have a gift that will warm the heart of any history buff or alcoholic you know!
1941 Milwaukee Beer photo

We don’t care how sexy you are from the knees up, you’re not getting laid while wearing these.
Ugly socks

As far as fashion goes, you’ll do much better in this fetching item made by Junior House of Milwaukee in the 1950s.

At $22, you can have a piece of Milwaukee fashion history that looks almost futuristic in 2010.
“UNIQUE and INTERESTING” vest

If none of the items we shared inspire you, search Milwaukee on Etsy.com for yourself! Every dollar you spend will go to pay off the student loan of some disgruntled college student somewhere.

Is this what you wanted, Milwaukee?

So, we got a bunch of scary weather reports and warnings to stay off the road (enough that we decided to stay home, watch hockey, and drink rather than go out) but we managed to avoid the big white dump. We won’t always be so lucky, of course, but just be glad that you won’t throw out your back shoveling snow Sunday morning.

So, where do you find those unique items that will set you apart as a Packer fan who didn’t just buy whatever Made in China garbage with an ironed-on “G” logo? The best only-in-Wisconsin stuff is often found in gas stations, flea markets, or tourist traps. This does mean, however, that a lot of your distinct new purchases won’t be completely legit and won’t bear any official Packer/NFL markings but, come on- you’re a real fan who doesn’t seek approval of your dedication.

Fortunately, in the internet age we can still find a lot of only-in-Wisconsin options without having to leave the house. Here are some of our favorites.

Entering into the unofficial Packer shirt fray is Jermichael Finley himself with his T.G.I.Finley t-shirt. While the joke of the shirt is a bit of a dud, we do admire it’s quasi-officialness. And we are betting that some years from now the impact of Jermichael Finley on the team and his expected longevity will overcome the lack of cleverness and prove this shirt to be a smart purchase. He was just declared ineligible for the season so wearing this shirt in public doesn’t make much sense. We suggest (in our best stockbroker voice) that you buy now and let it mature in your t-shirt portfolio.

Not too smart but has staying power.

Searching CafePress.com for “Packers” (which we did for you. You’re welcome very much) yields a million shirts about loving/hating Brett Favre, shirts with incoherent jokes, and improperly cagetorized shirts for other NFC North teams. It’s not exactly an easy website when it comes to filtering out all the shity options. Still, we’d like to recognize the cuteness of the Cheesehead maternity shirt found there.

What's the prenatal version of the Lambeau Leap?

Yes, while not exactly a Packers shirt, any Preggo Packer fan would be smart to own one. Or, buy it for a non-pregnant friend. We won’t judge.

Another they-have-so-much-they-have-nothing website is eBay. You could spend most of the day sorting through their shit (not to mention old, worn, stained shit). We liked this Bart Starr-themed shirt.

We'll give ya $10 if you get this tattoo.

Brew City Brand Apparel gets in on the Brett Favre hate with their “SLUT” shirt. A shirt like this will never be sold at any official retailer so this is exactly the sort of thing that makes Packers grey market clothing so appealing. Raw, rude, with good design. You should try to get one at their downtown store in time for this Sunday’s game. Otherwise, buy it online in October and use their 20% discount.

Pictured: Slut

Speaking of raw, Wiskullskin’s Packer skull shirt is pretty bad-ass.

By the Power of Wiskull!

The Smac design...why is her crotch so illuminated?

Finally, we’d be remiss not to mention the folks at Sconnie.com- they of “We’ll never forget you Brent” fame. They’ve really run wild with Brett’s recent texting troubles, but our favorite this year is the Clay Matthews as Thor design. Everyone talks about his looks, why not depict him as a Norse warrior who wants to smack you down with his customized (notice the “52″) hammer?

This pose is 10 times better than that bicep flex he does in real life.

Greg Jennings (left) is better than a Chicago Bear (right)

Turns out that tonight there is some kind of sporting contest between our state’s football team and a team assembled and headquartered in Chicago, Illinois. You probably already know this and are busy making the necessary preparations: ironing your green-and-gold pants, texting “GO PACK GO!” to all your friends, and arranging for tomorrow morning’s hangover.

If you have the desire this afternoon to read something non-football-related, here is a round-up of some local blog activity so you can have something to talk about with your friends during the many television commercial breaks that you will experience tonight.

- Best Place at Pabst Brewery will start to feature music. They should bring Milwaukee Metal Fest back here! [OnMilwaukee]

- Obama’s rally in Madison on Tuesday is turning into a concert with The National and Ben Harper. That sound you just heard was several thousand college kids squealing at once. [Express Milwaukee]

- Folks up north did some fast acting to abate rising flood waters. We wonder if the Milwaukee flood taught state officials that intervention can’t be delayed. [Uppity Wisconsin]

- The Brewers are done at Miller Park for 2010. It was a disappointing season, for sure, but it ended with some class. [The Brewers Bar]

Oh, and if you want to talk football and sound smarter than everyone else, read The Dope Sheet. That is all.

Thanks for stopping by and look out for us to get back into the swing of Milwaukee blogging!

Here’s to more Milwaukee (Mucho mas Milwaukee!) blogging in a couple weeks! Cheers!

Proceeds from the event benefit the Hunger Task Force and Roundy’s Foundation, so don’t bitch too much if you think the admission fee is expensive!

Milwaukee’s Largest Fish Fry
State Fair Park
Wednesday and Thursday, 3pm-10pm
Admission: $10 ($6 with a donation of three or more non-perishable canned goods). Little kids basically get in free (see site for details)

Did you know that the Humane Society charges no adoption fee for cats older than 1 year? Kittens may be cute but we at Mucho Milwaukee are fans of the older cats (because they’re usually already litterbox-trained).

Go check out Tiki and Smudge (or any of their shelter buddies) and see if they’re the right fit for your home. Learn more at the Humane Society website.

Fairgoers on high (image from the Image Cafe)

Blame it on the heat, a head cold, hangovers, or just plain ennui but we couldn’t be arsed to do much in the last week. Shame on us, naturally, but we spent much of the last several hours reading over our local internet happenings to see what the hell has been going on lately. So, that may not make up for a lack of activity but it’s a good gesture in trying to keep up with you, the ever-active reader.

For musical accompaniment as you read, we provide this track from local boysThe Fatty Acids: “Howl”. Hear more at http://thefattyacidsmusic.com/

-First, on a non-blog-based note, Hunger Task Force is still soliciting donations as a result of the flood. They have been been busy feeding a lot of people and help is still needed. You can easily donate cash for food purchases via their website. [Hunger Task Force]

-In slightly more positive flood recovery news, the Teecycle folks are grateful for the post-flood help they’re getting. [Save Teecycle]

-OnMilwaukee Molly walks by a house with dolls in the windows, blogs about it, tags the post with “witch’s house.” Instant folklore. [OnMilwaukee]

-Confession: we drooled upon seeing this ad. [As Seen in WI]

-Inaugural Cheers to Volunteers happened this weekend. Stay tuned for more opportunities. [Cheers to Volunteers]

-A quick bike ride to get custard at a gelato shop. [Over the Bars in Milwaukee]

-Mark your damn calendars: World’s Largest Fish Fry event on Aug. 25th and 26th. [Bay View Compass]

-Who doesn’t love a Top 10 list? Here are 10 people changing Milwaukee. You know it’s a bad year for baseball when no Brewers are listed. [BizTimes]

-A look back at a 19th century Waukesha-to-Milwaukee bike race. Let’s bring it back! [OnMilwaukee]

-Heading out of town for the Great Taste fest in Madison? Check out this agenda of beer fest happenings this week so you can indulge properly. [Madison Beer Review]

-If you’re headed out of town but not to drink mass amounts of beer in Madison, maybe you should swing by Old World Wisconsin as it “continues to celebrate its reopening” with a look at Central European immigrant food as it was in the 19th century. Expect loads of hearty food. [Old World Wisconsin]

Here’s a smattering of internet finds that appealed to us. And now…they shall appeal to you!

- In light of the recent discussion regarding murals in Milwaukee, Art City takes a tour of, uh, murals in Milwaukee [Art City/Journal Sentinel]

- Riverwest 24 Recap! [Over the Bars in Milwaukee]

- Two organic farms close to Milwaukee will be open for tours Aug. 15. [Journal Sentinel]

- Review of new Bay View Vietnamese restaurant, Hue. [On My Table]

- The Brewery complex will be the home of UWM’s new School of Public Health. [BizTimes]

- Now is your once-per-year chance to tell New Glarus what you want them to brew in 2011. We think the Cherry Stout is a keeper! [New Glarus Brewing Co.]

Inaugural Milwaukee Brewfest

The 1st Annual Milwaukee Brewfest was this last Saturday and the early reports from attendees seem to suggest that a lot of improvements are necessary if this thing is going to have legs beyond the first year. The general consensus seems to be: OK, that was not what I was hoping for but can you do better next time?

Of course, we always advise people to just be laid back roll with minor bumps but Brewfest suffered from one big no-no for a beer festival: most of the beer was gone within a couple hours with only a few of the breweries making it to the expected 7 pm closing time. One thing that shouldn’t happen at a beer festival is attendees walking around asking who has beer left. (There are reports that Lakefront staffers ran back to the brewery to re-stock their supply and keep festival goers happy).

It seems this big problem was due mostly to attendance exceeding the organizers’ plans of just 2,000 people. This was evidenced by the fact that each attendee was to receive a souvenir glass but supplies ran out soon and many folks had to settle for using a disposable plastic cup.

Attendees also complained about the entrance being slow and understaffed, the low number of port-a-potties, and the fact that fest organizers offered greatly reduced admission in the days before the fest thereby making those who bought tickets early feel cheated. Beer Advocate has a rather active thread going with some complaints sprinkled with small dashes of optimism that future fests can be better run.

Pictured: thirsty people

Mucho Milwaukee’s advice: more toilets, more beer, VIP and regular pricing only (with no discounts at the last minute), and more polka. Do that and we will be there next year!

So, did you go? What are your impressions?

(Pics above come from Milwaukee Brewing Company’s facebook page)

Update: Monday 9:55 p.m.: Milwaukee Brewfest has updated their website and, after thanking everyone for coming, they acknowledge the problems that occurred and set forth quantifiable goals. They did not take our advice above to provide more polka. Bastards.

We have taken your suggestions, concerns, and ideas to great heart.

Look forward to 2011 with:

* Quadruple the bathroom locations.
* Three Main Tents – One for 1/2 new breweries and 1/2 shaded eating area.
* Triple the beer.
* One Main Entrance.
* Tickets strictly limited to 2750 General Admission – 250 VIPS
* Pre-scan ticketing areas starting at 1 p.m with live entertainment.

Anyway, courtesy of e-notify comes this notice from the city about what renters can and should do about any flood damage they have in their rental units. In short, it’s good to remember that it’s the landlord’s responsibility to make repairs (even if the landlord claims otherwise).

City notice after the jump.

Attention Renters and Landlords:

As Milwaukee continues to recover from last week’s flooding, many residents are discovering additional damage to their buildings as basements are emptying. Various City departments are responding with their respective expertise.

If you had flood water in your basement, the first step is to call DPW’s 286-CITY (2489) to report it if you have not done so already. DPW will determine the cause either by site inspection or phone interview. DPW is also collecting this information to determine the extent of the flooding problem.

Mayor Barrett along with the Office of Emergency Management have mobilized a volunteer reception center to assist Milwaukee residents who are elderly, disabled or ill and in need of assistance with flood related problems including debris clean-up in basements. Individuals with special needs can call 286-CITY to request assistance from the newly activated volunteer center. If you are elderly, disabled or ill and in need of help with clean-up or are interested in volunteering to help with clean-up, please call 286-CITY.

If additional building damage is revealed once the water is gone, people should call their landlord first. If their landlord does not respond, call the Department of Neighborhood Services (DNS) at (414) 286-2268. Any structural damage such as bowed walls, buckled floors, falling ceilings, or water-soaked electrical service systems should be reported immediately to DNS. Inspectors will check the property and issue any necessary repair orders. Special programs, using e-permits, are in place to expedite certain repairs such as reconnecting electrical service. More extensive repairs will require the traditional inspection permit process. The City, for a limited time, is waiving the permit fees related to flood damage repair permits. Call the Plan Exam section in DCD at 286-8210 for details.

Property owners, not tenants, are ultimately responsible for repairs and completion of the clean-up process for their properties under chapter 275 of the Milwaukee Code of Ordinances regardless of lease agreements. DNS will issue orders to the owners, NOT the tenants. Buildings must be restored to a dry and sanitary condition. DNS encourages owners to work with tenants to sort through damaged items and restore the building to a safe condition as soon as possible.

DNS nuisance inspectors are not issuing clean-up orders on debris that appears to be flood damaged items stacked orderly at the normal garbage collection point. DPW is in the process of collecting this material. DPW is not charging normal debris pick-up fees for flood-damaged items. It should NOT be co-mingled with the regular garbage collection.

It’s been a week since the flood but there is certainly still turd water in many people’s basements. If your landlord hasn’t inspected your building yet, get them to look into it!

You appreciate the Brew City Bruisers and now they appreciate you back.

If you don’t yet have plans for tonight, head on over to Washington Park for the Brew City Bruisers Appreciation Picnic. Skating and other antics around 4 p.m. and some local bands will provide tunes around 6 p.m. There will also be canoe rides given on the pond from 4 pm until 5 pm where you can glean some smarts from the Urban Ecology Center. Starting at 6 p.m. a water conservation art installation will occur on the pond. Oh, did you notice in the flyer above that there will be FREE FOOD?!? Score!

Brew City Bruisers Appreciation Picnic
Washington Park Bandshell
July 28, 2010
FREE!

Kick back, have a smoke, and read some blogs. (Photo from Wisconsin Historical Society)

This isn’t the timeliest entry of blog round-up but rather a collection of recent finds. Consider it a list of blog posts you should check out today because tomorrow they will be old news.

- A photo-rific tribute to summer in Wisconsin. [Berrylies]

- A very simple summer garden breakfast. [Image Cafe]

- Another photo-rific post: Fox River Tubing with Faythe Levine. [I was born in 1977]

- Seizure Chicken makes it easy for you to stay on top of Modern music with their July mp3 mixtape. [Seizure Chicken]

- Riverwest 24 Bike Race is this weekend. Go watch all 24 hours of it! [Express Milwaukee]

- Brady St. Festival photo gallery. [ThirdCoast Digest]

- UrbanMilwaukee makes a case for allowing street festivals to stay open until bar close. [Urban Milwaukee]

- Singer/Songwriter Jewel wrote and sang a song about Milwaukee. Part tribute, Part pandering-to-the-locals. [Express Milwaukee]

- A brief tale of 19th Century Jackasses. [Wisconsin Historical Society]

- Miller Park Drunk wants to party with you at August 29 Brewers game. [Miller Park Drunk]

- What bike-centric inspiration can we get from looking to Europe? [Over the Bars in Milwaukee]

It rained and it poured.

The Milwaukee County Historical Society had a flooded basement and they need help moving items to new, dry boxes. They are looking for volunteers to start around 10 a.m. Saturday. Call (414) 273-8288 for more info.

And, of course, there is always financial help. German Fest vendors and the Waukesha County Fair are two high profile events that took a big financial hit by essentially closing on Thursday. The Waukesha County Fair, in particular, issued a plea asking for support to make up for yesterday’s (financial) disaster. If you go to one of these festivals, spend a little extra cash than you would normally. There, we have just rationalized your overindulgence in food and drink.

Oh, and if you didn’t get a clue yesterday, now might be a good time to considering picking up some plastic bins if you have stuff stored in your basement! Nothing like rain and backed-up poo-poo water to really screw up your old clothes and toys.

This very small image of the lakefront was taken from the Live @ the Lakefront website which is, itself, not very large.

Oriental Theater
Three showings: 4:45, 7:15, 9:45
$9.50 General Admission

MUSIC: Squeeze and The English Beat will bring their British 80s-era new wave to town tonight. Perfect for, uh…people who are into that sort of thing.

The Pabst – 8:00 p.m. – $37.50

MUSIC: Live at the Lakefront- Come down for “Puerto Rican folkmusic, Afro-Cuban rhythms, South American and Jazz sounds” played by Bahia. That’s Spanish for “Bay”- not really relevant to a lakefront show but it’s a much better sounding word than “Lago.”

Discovery World
500 N Harbor Drive
Live @ the Lakefront
5:30 – 9:00 p.m.
FREE

MISC.: Sunset Zoofari at the Zoo. Every Wednesday you can hang out at the zoo after normal hours to see the animals after they’ve quit hiding from the hot summer sun.

The Frickin’ Zoo
6 p.m. to 9 p.m.
$6.50.
Music provided by the Love Monkeys (no way!)
http://www.milwaukeezoo.org/events/sunsetzoofari.php

LECTURE: Tonight’s installment of the North Point Lighthouse Lecture Series focuses on the October 22, 1929 wreck of the car ferry “Milwaukee” whose wreckage still lies in Lake Michigan. Brutal history. (Details – PDF)

North Point Lighthouse
2650 North Wahl Avenue
6:30 – 8:00 p.m.
$25

What was he going to do with random car parts but in small quantities? We couldn’t help but think he was inspired by Johnny Cash’s “One Piece at a Time” to build a Franken-vehicle! That method didn’t turn out too well for Johnny either.